The tarot card for today is The Lovers. This card reminds us to channel our inner attorney in our relationships. Just like attorneys crafting their arguments based on reason when they present in court, we should also be rational and level-headed especially when engaged in a disagreement. It's too easy to get caught up in the whims of our emotions that we might end up saying hurtful words we don't mean. We often end up regretting and by then, it's already too late to take those words back.
On the other side of the spectrum, completely not saying anything resulting to bottling emotions is just as bad as spouting unnecessary and spiteful words during a fit of rage. Exercising the golden mean in communication might be easier said than done, but it is often the best way to follow.
It is time to evaluate ourselves and the way we interact in different relationships. Are we communicating similar to the way attorneys do? How can we better ourselves in addressing our sentiments to our loved ones? What are the communication styles we can learn from attorneys?
At its face value, this card tells us about the union of a man and a woman that is being watched over by Archangel Raphael. In the background, the lovers are standing on fertile grounds with the sun shining above them. The setting can be likened to the Garden of Eden, where the woman is to Eve and the man is to Adam. Judging by the name of this card, The Lovers Card signifies a divinely guided romantic relationship.
However, this card does not solely apply to relationships focused on romance. The aspects that form a stable and lasting connection are invisible to the naked eye. One of those is communication which is highly vital for maintaining any type of relationship, whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial. Mere love is simply not enough to keep a relationship going. There will always be challenges in any type of connection, and often it is best addressed by consistent communication. One interpretation as to why both the man and the woman are naked is because it stresses the significance of the naked truth. Similar to attorneys who are expected to embody honesty and fairness, the same should be applied in our day-to-day lives.
As one can notice, behind the woman is a snake on an apple tree. This image is reminiscent of the serpent mentioned in the Bible where the devil lured Eve to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge. This symbolizes temptations centered on human sensations. On the other hand, there stands a tree of flames behind the man. This represents the burning passion and rage that is accompanied by love and relationships in general. These two, the five senses and emotions, are dangerous if not controlled by reason and logic. Give in to your impulses and you’ll be a slave to temporary, worldly pleasures. Meanwhile, restricting yourself too much with logic makes a person overly rigid. This is when our inner attorney is put to a test—keeping the scales balanced between emotions and rationality.
Even if a relationship is blessed by divine beings, this is not a reason to be complacent in nurturing them. Humans are expected to put in work to build meaningful and long-term relationships.
How many friends have turned into strangers due to misunderstandings? How many familial relations have gone cold and bitter because one or more parties refuse to listen to the other? How many romantic connections have withered because one person decided to disappear without saying anything? How many times have we wished to take back certain words we have exchanged with someone? How many times have we wished to go back in time because we have things left unsaid to another person who is no longer in contact with us?
The Lovers Card reminds us that we should strive to be attorneys, in terms of being fair, professional, and logical in communicating with our loved ones. With an emphasis on communication, it is time to reflect whether there is synchronization between the level of value we put on certain relationships and the effort we exert on nurturing them. It takes conscious work to preserve relationships, and so does communicating. It is a balancing act between communicating our feelings and listening to what the other person says. It is only through discourse that a middle ground can be achieved. As adults, we are expected to be aware that negotiating and compromising are part of our everyday lives.
Oftentimes people forget that communication does not only mean speaking up. It is a two-way process that involves both talking and listening. If the falling out of your past relationships is due to issues in communication, then it’s a telltale sign to reflect on the way you communicate. A saying goes, "history repeats itself"—the problem will keep on recurring until you fully learn the lesson. Changing old habits gets harder the more you age, so it’s best to exert effort in improving yourself as early as now. One can get an idea on how to improve communicating by observing at how attorneys behave during a court trial.
Recognizing that you have communication problems is often the first step. Just as it is important to own up to your mistakes that contributed to the abrupt ending of those connections, do not beat yourself up in the process of taking responsibility for it. Identifying the root of this problem is another thing. If you find staying silent much more comfortable than speaking up even if it means inconvenience to you, then maybe you once experienced being silenced. Or if you are aware that it's hard for you not to raise your voice during a conflict, then it would be likely that it is a defensive move because of past events where people do not want to hear your side. Contemplate what these causes might be so that you'll be able to move past them and make gradual improvements in your communication style. It also helps if a therapist, counselor, or other professionals will assist you in your journey.
Progress, no matter how small, is still progress. When you feel dissatisfied with how slow your development is, remind yourself that change is not linear. There is no need to rush this process since you are embarking on unfamiliar territory. Be kind to yourself and if possible, seek other people's help. Just like how attorneys win cases, you, too, can achieve victory by nurturing healthy and long-term relationships.
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